A friend and former colleague of mine wrote me the other day encouraging me and letting me know that he appreciated my 'Broadlight Perspectives' and found them helpful. Quick action note: if you haven't encouraged someone recently, do it today before you go to bed - I guarantee you it will matter. Well, I hadn't seen or spoken to him in some time and his note came at an important time. It reminded me immediately of a story he told me about his time in college.
We were working through some challenging issues at the time, the specifics escape me, but he was ably involved in cleaning up the mess. One day we were talking about how difficult it was for the people involved to face into the challenges they had created for themselves. He then shared a story that shocked me a little at the time but provided a glimpse into the man I knew. He had played football in college and during a particular game injured his arm - forearm I believe - quite badly. He had to come out of the game because the pain rendered his arm, at the time, incapable delivering the needed violence for effective play.
Now the coach came over and asked what the problem was, to which my friend answered, "I think it's broken." The coach looks at the arm and seeing no bone sticking out instructs my rugged friend to 'tape it up and get back out there'. Now it's interesting what happens next. Even though it hurt terribly, my friend found the wherewithal to, in fact, have someone tape the thing up and he went back into the game.
Do you have an 'inured arm' right now that has put you on the sideline? Is your pride wounded? Is confidence in yourself or those around you shaken a bit, leaving you unsure of your capabilities to deal with what's coming? These issues are likely very complicated, so I'll not insult you with a 3 step solution to something that may take 15. I do think however we can get you 'taped up' and back in the game if your willing to grit your teeth and run back out there:
1. Call it what it is. Wilford Brimley, in the movie Absence of Malice, is grilling a federal attorney regarding the source of some information in a critical case that had gotten to the press. The attorney tries to defend himself by saying there must have been a 'leak' somewhere. To which Mr. Brimley's character responds, "A leak! The last time there was a leak like this Noah built himself a boat." Face into the issue without trying to minimize it. If it's a performance failure that's what it is. If it's a personal mess, it won't help you or anyone else to gloss over it. There is amazing freedom in finally taking a deep breath and acknowledging our situation for what it is.
2. Know what's next. You may not know the complete list of 30 things that might have to be done to square the issue away, but you likely know the first one - and however difficult it might be you have to take that step before anything else can be done. We can at times paralyze ourselves to inaction because of a daunting task in front of us. Get the ship out of the port and use the rudder - that's why it's there.
3. Forget it. Many of us are world class weightlifters at lugging around our failures long after the lessons have been learned and the issues addressed. We love to pull out the old tapes of our failures and play them over and over again just to give ourselves a good upper cut to the chops once in a while. Try this the next time (maybe today): Take a 3 X 5 card, write the issue on it along with the words "I fixed It". Read it. Smile. Tear it up, throw it away and walk out of your office/cube/desk. Walk directly to someone in your office that you admire (professionally) and tell them about the example they set and why it's important to you. Focusing on others brings you forward to now, after all today is hard enough without lugging 'yesterday' around with you.
By they way, my friend did play the rest of the game and later found out his arm was truly broken. He was able, for a short time, to get by with force of will and determination lugging that broken arm around. Ultimately, however, he had to take the tape off and do what must be done to heal it and move on.
Do the same for yourself.
