BLT #33: Everybody's Talking . . . So Who's Listening?

It's a well worn development track that we all need to be better listeners.  Turns out, it appears, that no one is listening to the message about listening.  We can - and will - be more effective when we strive to 'first understand, then be understood'

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.      ~ Doug Larson

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.   ~ Wilson Mizner

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words
I saw a fascinating commercial the other day.  It's one of those commercials that provide images so striking and interesting that you can't for the life of you remember the product...and I can't.  I happened to be recording the show that was on when I saw it, so I went back later and watched it.  During the commercials I'd hit the mute button and pick up a conversation with my wife.  I happened to be looking at the screen at the muted images of a commercial that said a lot about our culture and communications. 

It was a series of short scenes that, in different ways, show people talking incessantly and loudly at each other.  Everyone's mouth is moving, fingers are pointed and arms are waving obviously signalling a debate about something or other. 

A lot of emotion... 

A lot of energy...  

Absolutely no listening - no one is listening to anyone.

Now Look In The Mirror
How well do you do at really listening to others?  When they have concerns do you hear them fully, or 'help them' by explaining how incorrectly they are viewing the situation.

How well do you listen to your clients?  I was part of a business leadership team that once received our first-ever external client survey results.  They were sobering.  One pattern of discussion got started wherein the idea was suggested that the results were slanted  by a few clients and things weren't as bad as the survey said.  It was amazing how quickly folks jumped on board with that.

I was just about to say that we probably needed to accept this at face value when our business unit leader said it as elegantly and forcefully as anyone could:  "This is the voice of our clients.  We will not make excuses or minimize the pain of what we're hearing.  This is a gift."

See-Think-Act of being a better listener:

See what others are saying as an opportunity to learn.  Face it, you don't know everything and hearing others out broadens your knowledge and perspective.  I've found this step particularly useful as it keeps me from making judgements about other people's motives.  In this mode we ask clarifying questions - to be absolutely sure we understand

Think before responding - but not while others are sharing their thoughts.  We often make the mistake - actually I think it happens quite without deciding to do it - of framing our responses to ideas and comments while others are still talking.  We need to learn to consciously separate the act of listening to understand.  Only when we fully understand are then prepared to craft a response.  Unfortunately, we wait just long enough for others to finish, then we jump in with our counterpoint.  No questions.  No clarification. We usually miss a nuance or even the point altogether!

Act interested and you'll be interested.  This may for  you be a matter of form over substance at first, training yourself to appear focused and interested in what others are saying.  I actually had to do this and a funny thing happened.  The process of acting interested, in fact, made me interested.  I picked up on important nuances in the materials being discussed and was able to ask better questions and help move us to decisions. 

The commercial I mentioned is quite striking, and it may be that it is representative of life in America.  I encourage you to make this place one step better by becoming an active listener.  We just might learn something.

Next Up:  How Do We Miss A Gorilla? . . . By Looking Too Hard For Something Else

BLT #32: Create Unique Client Value . . . With Their Help

When I purchased my first auto and life insurance policies about 30 years ago, my new best friend / agent and I had kind of a one-sided conversation over breakfast and coffee.  He was a great guy whom I'd met quite by accident when I fell off my parent's auto insurance policy.  During the course of solvng my minimalist auto insurance needs, he also told me about my need for life insurance, how much I needed and what kind of insurance would best serve my needs.   To that point I hadn't thought about dying or what might happen after that unfortunate day.  Now I was worried about it.  I bought everything and it took about 30 minutes and slept with the hallway light on for the next month.

He created all the value.  I took what he created.  I was happy.

New Realities and Opportunities

Is that how your engagement and solution process works with your clients today?  Probably not.  Why?  Your clients - most of them - are not willing to sit back and wait for you to create value for them.  We want to be part of the process and will value people who do that in a unique, interesting and egaging way.

What has driven this change?  I believe there are three key developments which have forever changed the way your clients - and future clients - will behave and make decisions.  At first blush these are challenges to be overcome, but in reality they are opportunities to create value with your clients through an experience that locks them to you and fills your pipeline with valuable referrals.

The Three Opportunities You Might Think Are Hurdles

Accessibility and Breadth of Information.  My agent at 18 years knew I didn't know anything about auto and life insurance and that I had no access to learn about or figure it out.  I just now - literally switched tabs - and 'Googled' 'buying auto insurance' and received over 29 million results!!!    Collecting yourself you might see that as a threat.  I think it shapes an opprtunity.  Now, rather than providing me with the only information available on my insurance choices, you can best help me sift through the noise and chatter and develop a solution with me in driver's seat.  By being transparent and debunking internet hype in a confident professional way, we develop a better understanding of my needs and choices.  You Win!

Experimentation.  In the past clients didn't live in a world of driving a new car for 30 days and returning it with no obligation if they didn't like it.  Picking exterior and interiors for their car and ordering it on-line without ever setting foot in a dealership.  By developing an ability to efficiently share alternatives and scenarios with me - enabling us to play them out - you help your clients experiment and experience your services before buying anything.  This is more than changing an assumption in a pricing model or a spreadsheet.  What does a difference of $100,000 in a life insurance policy make in the lives of the people that matter to me?  If those differences don't resonate with me, you've helped me develop solutions with you.  This is incredibly different than being sold something.

Opinions and Activism.  People want to provide feedback now more than ever.  They will seek out ways to provide unsolicited feedback to companies and service providers.  What if you provided a way for your clients to join in a connected community with you?  Are you on Facebook?  Can your clients get 'tweets' from your Twitter account?  All of these can be seen as tools to be feared or taken advantage of.  Many of the horros stories you hear are due to lack of committed planning and control over what goes on within these tools.  Have you ever considered a recorded presentation over GoToMeeting.com on important subjects our clients care about.  How about a living chat session that's closer to home where one client's questions and insights become valuable inputs for others (obviously protecting personal information...).  Provide these masterfully, and you win.  Again!

The "See, Think, Act" of Creating Value With Your Customers Help

See the new power of customers and the access they have to information, experimentation and the opinions of others as an opportunity rather than a threat.  Brainstorm ways to use that access to your advantage by helping them sift through rantings and ravings to find new solutions - with you!!  Ask them questions you might have thought it best to avoid. 

Think through the various opportunities your business has to make a difference in your customer's lives.  How can you help them weather life's strorms and realize life's dreams by adding value beyond what you sell them?  How can you involve your clients more intimately with your business - help you make it better and thereby improving their own experience?  These are the questions of a new day.  Transparency and openness, for all the blather about them, haven't made  a real inroad yet - maybe it starts with you.

Act now to take advantage of your insights.  You think differently about this than anyone else so act differently.  Make your experience and the solutions you offer decidedly unique by reaching your customers in ways you never thought of.  Don't wait until tomorrow.  Your customers are craving a new experience...now.  It bears mentioning here too that you want your name to come up over lunch between your clients and their friends.  You'll have to act to make that happen.

Don't get 'Geico-ized'
Today I pay more for my auto and life insurance than I would without an agent helping me.  Sure I could buy direct and save money, but I need the help, insights and tools they give me to understand the world better - not just their products. 

I helped create my own experience because they've invited me in - and I can't imagine changing.  Do your clients say that about you?  They can and will if you'll embrace all the new realities and possibilities of this connected world.


file: Relationship Management, Technology
Copyright Lance Kesterson and Broadlight Consulting, 2010