Because everything we say and do is the length and shadow of our own souls, our influence is determined by the quality of our being.
- Dale Turner
There is a story about a man who complains to his therapist that there is a person, very much like himself, that is following him everywhere. He can't escape the presence of this person and he is threatened and scared by him. Whatever he does, this man mocks him. The therapist asks whether he has sought help from the authorities to keep this man from bothering him. The man simply replies, "You don't understand, my shadow is with me in everything I do - how could I possibly get away from him?"
Every leader must recognize that you too cast a shadow you cannot escape, for good or ill. That is right, you are a leader. Now, when I say 'leader' I do not mean "CEO" or "Chief / VP / Director or Manager of anything." I do not mean to point to a block on an organization chart. Leaders are everywhere, even in the very chair you occupy as you read my words. If you don't see yourself as a leader let's change that right now. There, you are one. If you interact with people and have an opportunity to provide insight, learning, direction, caring, help or results of any kind, you are a leader. You may be excellent at leading or poor, and that is the point of this thinking today.
You see, each of us casts a real shadow like the one our friend on the therapists sofa. But we also cast a figurative shadow with every word we speak, every email we send and every decision we make. Students of middle school mathematics learn to calculate the length and area of a shadow cast by an object. They can also work backwards to tell you about the object based on the size and shape of the shadow.
Your shadow is much the same. People who are touched by your shadow either are energized by it, or simply blocked out from the sun. You either build up and clarify or you tear down and muddy the water. Your shadow either stays on the surface or reaches to people's souls. Your shadow either takes, or gives. Much like our math students, people can - and do - tell much about you by looking at your shadow. The energizing (or frightening part if you've never thought about it) part of this is that your shadow touches people every day!.
Here are some thoughts I'd ask you take into this day - to choose to cast a shadow that builds; that energizes; that makes people better for having been within it.
1. Think about your shadow? Before you leave your office/cube/desk/truck, before you answer that email, before you call your client you must think consciously about the shadow you are casting. This is particularly important when you are having difficult conversations that require candor and resolution. Difficult things can be done in such a way - with proper thought - that others feel that they've been treated fairly, openly and honestly. Your shadow will leave an imprint - don't leave it to chance.
2. Think and speak well of others. I believe it's impossible to cast a shadow that builds others up without generally thinking well of people, what they're doing and who they are. If you are in the habit of thinking or speaking poorly of anyone, put that away - it's beneath you. You must also develop the ability to rise above petty discussions. I once was with a group who had begun tearing down another executive. I pointed out a couple of very valuable traits of that person and, voila!!, the negativity ended.
Negative energy dissipates quickly in the presence of someone who won't permit it to exist. Be that person. Negativity and cynicism is lazy thinking - it's easy. You have to sometimes look for the good in people so do it.
3. Find Opportunities to say 'YES.' I've been known as a problem solver. People have come to feel that I can be given just about any business problem and I will find a way through. I've not known why that's the case until I began writing this. I believe it starts with seeing every problem as solvable. It might not be a straight line and there may be many competing interests but I know there is a balance to all of it - I just have to find it. Having a positive attitude about problems and challenges - isn't that what work is??? - casts a shadow of opportunism and propels others forward.
Today is the day to begin shaping your shadow and the impact it has on those around you.
Showing posts with label workplace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label workplace. Show all posts
Monday, August 16, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
BLT #21: You Want To Succeed? . . . Get Me Some Tea
It had just begun, the way many valuable things begin, in a way that I could never have guessed. I was in the first minute of the first class in my first year of graduate studies at The Ohio State University. I had been working for just about 8 years after completing my undergraduate work. At the insistence of my wife, Anne, I took the GMAT scoring in the top 5% (maybe it was 8%?) and felt strongly that I had something meaningful to offer this very serious undertaking. This was no messin' around. I was going to get an MBA, so I was ready to dig into some serious mountain-top thinking. After all, wasn't that how one got ahead in this world?
The professor for our first course, Organizational Behavior, strode into the lecture about 5 minutes late. I do not recall his name, but he was originally from Korea - I forget which side of the border - and I liked him immediately. He smiled and asked, "Who in this room wants to receive a grade of 'A' in this course?' I sheepishly raised my hand, along with many others, knowing there was a second half to that question.
We put our hands down and he gave us the formula. You know, the formula that so many people look for in life, work and relationships that shoot us to the front of the class, that lock in the love of the person we desire and that gets the adulation and promotion we seek professionally. You know....the formula!
But he didn't say what I expected, which wasn't a specific guess on my part but rather a general idea that it would be something meaningful; deeply felt. He said . . . wait for it, "If you want an A in this course you will bring tea to me at each lecture on Tuesday and Thursday with a lemon in it." Silence. Staring.
Success - with your boss, your spouse or your customers - is often not about the base 'product'. It's really about something else altogether. Don't get me wrong, you must do the core things properly and at a high level of quality and maybe a good dash of panache. But this is something else. It requires understanding people and the things important to them. My wife, who is far more attractive than I can justify being with, knew what I looked like. She understood what I was about and what level of intelligence I had/didn't have. However, with all that in my, um, favor, she told me years later that she fell in love with me because of one act: a Fribble.
I was picking her up late from work one night - she worked the night shift at Children's Hospital - and remembered like a bolt of lightning that she told me how much she loved these strawberry milkshakes. I left my apartment early enough so I could drop by Friendly's Ice Cream and get her one on the way down. No big plan, no ulterior motives, just doing something she'd like. When she got in the car and saw the shake - remember it's 11 PM and she's just worked 10 hours - she lit up. And I instantly transformed from regular guy into a superhero.
There are of course, no formulas for success at much of anything but I do offer these thoughts from my experience:
1. You have to know what matters to people. The job you are doing for them is a given. If you don't get that done all the Fribbles in the world won't save you. Oh yeah and by the way, people won't always tell you exactly what they need or like. You'll have to work at finding out. When you do . . .
2. Do it for them. The first part of this is the action the second part is the motivation. Once you know what matters to people and what will wow them, you have to take action. Something memorable. Something personal. Something that very clearly says "I've paid attention and I have done this specifically for you." Finally, you must expect nothing in return. You do it for the sheer joy and fulfillment of doing something meaningful for another. Don't assume that 33% of the people you do this for will buy another XX widgets. You appreciate them and just want to do it for them - not you.
3. Smile the whole time knowing you're doing something that matters. There is one little selfish thing you can do for yourself and that is this: when you know you are doing something kind and meaningful for someone else you feel good and that is just fine. And when you feel good you smile and walk a little more upright and briskly. And when you smile people want to know what's up with you. And you tell them. And it spreads.
The professor didn't really give A's for tea - but he did get some tea out of the deal. And I felt great about it!!
The professor for our first course, Organizational Behavior, strode into the lecture about 5 minutes late. I do not recall his name, but he was originally from Korea - I forget which side of the border - and I liked him immediately. He smiled and asked, "Who in this room wants to receive a grade of 'A' in this course?' I sheepishly raised my hand, along with many others, knowing there was a second half to that question.
We put our hands down and he gave us the formula. You know, the formula that so many people look for in life, work and relationships that shoot us to the front of the class, that lock in the love of the person we desire and that gets the adulation and promotion we seek professionally. You know....the formula!
But he didn't say what I expected, which wasn't a specific guess on my part but rather a general idea that it would be something meaningful; deeply felt. He said . . . wait for it, "If you want an A in this course you will bring tea to me at each lecture on Tuesday and Thursday with a lemon in it." Silence. Staring.
Success - with your boss, your spouse or your customers - is often not about the base 'product'. It's really about something else altogether. Don't get me wrong, you must do the core things properly and at a high level of quality and maybe a good dash of panache. But this is something else. It requires understanding people and the things important to them. My wife, who is far more attractive than I can justify being with, knew what I looked like. She understood what I was about and what level of intelligence I had/didn't have. However, with all that in my, um, favor, she told me years later that she fell in love with me because of one act: a Fribble.
I was picking her up late from work one night - she worked the night shift at Children's Hospital - and remembered like a bolt of lightning that she told me how much she loved these strawberry milkshakes. I left my apartment early enough so I could drop by Friendly's Ice Cream and get her one on the way down. No big plan, no ulterior motives, just doing something she'd like. When she got in the car and saw the shake - remember it's 11 PM and she's just worked 10 hours - she lit up. And I instantly transformed from regular guy into a superhero.
There are of course, no formulas for success at much of anything but I do offer these thoughts from my experience:
1. You have to know what matters to people. The job you are doing for them is a given. If you don't get that done all the Fribbles in the world won't save you. Oh yeah and by the way, people won't always tell you exactly what they need or like. You'll have to work at finding out. When you do . . .
2. Do it for them. The first part of this is the action the second part is the motivation. Once you know what matters to people and what will wow them, you have to take action. Something memorable. Something personal. Something that very clearly says "I've paid attention and I have done this specifically for you." Finally, you must expect nothing in return. You do it for the sheer joy and fulfillment of doing something meaningful for another. Don't assume that 33% of the people you do this for will buy another XX widgets. You appreciate them and just want to do it for them - not you.
3. Smile the whole time knowing you're doing something that matters. There is one little selfish thing you can do for yourself and that is this: when you know you are doing something kind and meaningful for someone else you feel good and that is just fine. And when you feel good you smile and walk a little more upright and briskly. And when you smile people want to know what's up with you. And you tell them. And it spreads.
The professor didn't really give A's for tea - but he did get some tea out of the deal. And I felt great about it!!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
BLT #2: Make Peace At Work
Going to work is a high pressure proposition everyday - you may have felt it the moment your feet hit the floor this morning. People wonder whether their jobs are safe, whether the business will be sold or even whether or not their boss likes them. These worries make every issue in the office bigger than they often need to be, creating the potential for conflict and disagreement throughout the day. You may be saying to yourself, 'yeah, he's right and I wish someone would make this place a little easier to get along in.'
Well, today's the day and you are the someone. No sense waiting around for others to make it better when you have the power yourself to do it. I recently read a book by Ken Sande entitled Peacemaker. I don't have the space to lay it all out, but I recommend the book quite highly. In relating it to the day you're about to have, I suggest you get ready to do 3 things that you might never have done at work:
Well, today's the day and you are the someone. No sense waiting around for others to make it better when you have the power yourself to do it. I recently read a book by Ken Sande entitled Peacemaker. I don't have the space to lay it all out, but I recommend the book quite highly. In relating it to the day you're about to have, I suggest you get ready to do 3 things that you might never have done at work:
1. Overlook A Small Offense. This won't be hard to find as little offenses happen against you all day long. You are interrupted during a staff meeting - while making a very good point I might add - by someone who couldn't wait to make their comments heard. Let it go, and start your input again as if nothing happened. Your gracious action will be noted by others and you'll have set a great example.
2. Apologize For Something You Said or Did. Face it, we've all offended someone at some point in a meeting. Asking a question that sounded more accusatory than curious while trying make points with the highest ranking person in the room. Rolling your eyes or monitoring your critically important email while someone was making a presentation (chief of sinners here). Go tell them you're sorry - yep they noticed and they'll appreciate your honesty. You'll have cooled them down and taken ownership of your own bad behavior. It might not hurt to offer to help them with their idea too.
3. Speak Well of Someone Being Gossipped About. It's very easy to jump on the 'kick someone else around' bandwagon. It's even possible they might deserve a certain amount of it and that everything being said is absolutely true. You still need to demonstrate some leadership and find something kind to say about them. It will kill the gossip session and many times participants will realize they shouldn't be talking that way about their colleagues. If you are uninvited from the gripe sessions - good - you don't need to spend time there anyway.
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